A Bit of Grace

she-has-fire-in-her-soul-and-grace-in-her-heart

I gave myself over to something in 2016. It was important to me. I didn’t have the perfect solution. The unfortunate side-effect of working on this particular part of my life is that I let my healthy eating take a back seat. In doing that, I lost control of my ability to reign it back in. It just didn’t matter.

Now, twelve months later, I’m admittedly frustrated with where I am, I don’t feel good in my skin, in my choices, in my clothes. I wish I could have figured it all out at the same time. So much stuff. The truth of it is, though, that my life shifted a little bit and I needed to allow that shift. I’m trying really hard not to feel shame around what I let go or anger or anxiety at how hard I will have to work to get back to the me that feels healthiest. Shame. Such a negative feeling. It is, however, how I feel sometimes right now because I think that I’m supposed to know better by now. Reality check – I clearly haven’t learned all the lessons that I’m supposed to learn around healthy eating, living, loving and more. I’ve got some growth to do.

One of the lessons that I learned this year was that of grace. Somewhere along the way, I learned that we need to afford ourselves so much grace – every day – for the things that are difficult, that we are still learning, that leave us breathless. I love eating healthily and moving my body, but sometimes life has other plans and I guess I have a few more things to learn about living a life of balance.

I afford grace to others all the time and I tend to forgive easily and let go. We are human. The key – I am also human. 2016 was not my year of health, wellness, energy, vitality. But it was a year that I needed. The positive perspective that I choose to see is that 2017 now has even more potential to be truly amazing. I have the work that I’ve done in 2016 that I will connect with the goals and desires of 2017 and I know that this time will be magical.

Don’t get me wrong, though. Magical doesn’t mean perfect and easy and all-my-dreams-come-true, but it does mean that I’m incredibly excited to begin 2017 and work towards my goals. I know there will be challenging moments, but I am almost excited for them because it is the tougher moments that teach us what we are made of. The challenges we overcome on our journey are the ones that give us compassion and acceptance and forgiveness. They are what build our strength and resilience. The challenges are acutally the point.

This year, as I work to overcome those hurdles, I choose to see them as opportunities for strength and moments to celebrate. I choose to learn and grow and be grateful. No judgment, no shame. Lots of grace.

Here’s to the learnings and JOY that 2017 will bring!

 

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