Oh. My. Gosh. I can’t stop eating.

First of all, I’m sorry about not posting yesterday. I was just busy with life and then spent some time unwinding instead of blogging. I could try to share what I ate, but it really isn’t important. The thing is, I could NOT get satisfied. I was hungry all day. I felt like I might be craving things, but when I checked in, even imagining a few things that might be typical cravings, I didn’t want those foods. I just wanted food. And more food.

So I ate. A few times throughout the day I would distract myself or do something different. We met up with friends in the afternoon and I wasn’t hungry then, but I’d had a giant lunch and then a snack almost immediately after, so really had no possibility of feeling hungry. Then it settled down and I had just a very light snack before work and I figured I’d be done. But when I got home, I was still hungry and ate dinner.

Today I have been pretty hungry again, but it feels like it’s a bit less urgent. Still no cravings for foods that are outside the scope of the challenge, but I could keep eating at any moment. I’m not right now, though. I promise. Instead I stepped away from the kitchen, got some essential oils diffusing, and am sipping on bubbly water. I feel totally fine, but I do feel like I had a giant lunch and so I should be fine. Yet I could still eat. So it’s this weird place to be. I don’t know if any of you ever feel like this – unable to get satisfied. Maybe (probably?) I’m a little crazy, but I’m putting it out there just in case someone else has been through this and feels like they were crazy. Either you weren’t or we both are. In any case, you’re not alone.

Days 12-15 according to the Whole30 Timeline are often full of cravings. I’m thinking this is quite possibly what I’m going through right now. The thing is, I actually crave healthy food because I love it. I also crave the feeling of being full. And I use food to suppress any emotional stress or discomfort that I might be feeling. This doesn’t even have to be big emotions, right? For me, I might eat as a form of procrastination, to beat boredom, if I’m feeling lonely or uncertain, overwhelmed, or tired. I also love to eat for all kinds of happy emotions too, but that’s a different scenario. So while I might not be craving typically craveable foods right now, my brain might be trying very hard to go back to the way things were. It’s not a fan of change.

In order to work through the eating urge, I’ve often used meditation, getting up and moving, running an errand because just getting away can reset the mental state, and sometimes I’ve been able to figure out what I was really craving and have satisfied the actual need. This is definitely a skill that I continue to work on.

I believe that when we have food cravings, there is a deeper, more meaningful need that we are seeking to fill. That might be a need for connection or space or relaxation or freedom or celebration (Katie Den Ouden is a master at helping you to discover this), but sometimes it’s tough.

Sometimes, particularly when I am doing a Whole30, I simply decide to eat. I’m still in the process of readjusting my hormones and giving my body the actual nutrition that it needs so if I go a little over in some areas, maybe just maybe, my body actually needed it. I’m learning to listen and the learning phase means that I don’t have it all figured out anyway. So I stick to Whole30 compliant foods because they make my body healthier, and I allow time and patience and grace for my Whole30-mind that is working through the process.

Okay – one other thing. If I were doing a Whole30, this would be my Day 1, but since I’m doing 45 days, I’m already two weeks in. It seems crazy to me! I don’t know where those two weeks have gone, but I’m super excited that in theory, the hardest days are more or less behind me. I know there are more challenges on the horizon and I doubt I’m out of this little mini-food-craze thing yet, but my body is settling into the routine and I appreciate that.

What did I eat today?

Breakfast – 3 Italian meatballs / Roasted broccoli

Pre-workout snack – HB egg with a drop of mayo / Apricot / about 5 almonds

Lunch – Tropical cucumber salad with grilled shrimp / Zucchini soup which had a little sweet potato in it because I had a tough HIIT workout that needed refueling / Blackberries…Except it went like this…Salad with 5 shrimp and 1/2 a mango. Then back for 3 more shrimp and the other 1/2 mango. Then 1/2 c. soup. Then another 1/2 c. soup. Then a handful of blackberries, but I’d already had a whole mango. Geesh. When I was done, the strange thing was that I didn’t feel stuffed even. I just felt done.

Dinner – Chinese BBQ meatballs / Sautéed snap peas (A WellFed Weeknights recipe that is so good!) And I am definitely done eating. 🙂

How did I move?

HIIT workout and hopefully a dog walk tonight.

Yesterday I got a good posterior chain workout in and my body is feeling better all the time.