I took a little break. From everything, really. On Day 38, from a place of contentment and reflection, I decided to sit outside with a glass of wine on a summer evening because it was exactly what needed. I needed a break from daily blogging because school started and I needed that time with my son.  I needed a break from perfect Paleo because it had begun to skew away from health and towards fixation.

So I missed my goal of 45 days and I realized that a few more days of not blogging were going by. Even when I came back to Whole30 eating, I was still avoiding blogging. And then it occurred to me. I didn’t want to blog again because I was worried what you all would think of me. Shame. Worry. Embarrassment.

That’s when I knew that I absolutely needed to blog because my life and how I go through my journey is not how you might do your own journey – and that’s just fine. While I feared that stopping before the finish line would possibly demotivate someone who is following along and working through their own challenges, I also thought that maybe a different person might totally appreciate that my journey isn’t linear. In the end, a challenge that I post online is still my own to live and learn from.

So a few things to consider:

• When I posted my results at 30 days, something switched over in my brain and I felt like I was finished. Every day after that I was dragging and pushing and fighting with myself.
• More than ever, I need to work on balance and moderation. If I have something that falls outside the scope of Paleo, it doesn’t have to derail me for a month. I’m still in it. Because “it” is my life and I’m still working towards my healthiest self.
• I hurt (rehurt) my hamstring and realized that I kept over-exerting because I was after some end result. I’ve had to take a step back and this is tough sometimes.
• The days that I was derailed were also hormonally charged and quite likely needed even more carbohydrates. This is something I haven’t really figured out yet.
• If perfection is my goal, I will never attain it. Get over it.
• I have work to do around body image, the scale, results, weight as an indicator of health, and why any of this is important to me.

Somehow I got tangled up in the duration of the challenge and doing my results early and having an arbitrary finish line. It totally jacked me up for a minute. What I’m grateful for is that after only a few days, I easily came back to what makes me feel good. I am currently dialed way, way back on any activity while my leg heals. If I’m truly wanting to express health and wellness, then that means I have to back off when my body tells me to. This is a part of the balance that I’m working on.

What I’ve been thinking about lately is a variation on a Whole anything. It’s more about actively and intentionally balancing what I eat, how I move, and the things that I do for self-care in a way that is whole-heartedly less than perfect, but just right for ME. Since perfection is not my goal but deviating from a set of rules derails me, I want to mindfully practice balance. If I have a glass of wine, it doesn’t mean a free-for-all for three days. If I have a dinner out, it doesn’t mean biscuits and gravy the next day. Or maybe it does. I really want to practice tuning in to what is worth it, when it’s worth it, and why.

I went into these 45 days because I wanted to help a friend. I truly hope I gave a little guidance and support along the way. I feel refreshed and reengaged with my healthy habits, which is exciting. Eating like this is so doable. Feeding yourself whole, delicious, real food can transform us from the inside out and it’s totally worth it! And so is a glass of wine and a chocolate bar and a rest day. It’s about finding the balance that works best for you – not for anyone else and I’m grateful that I took the time to explore and experiment.

Thank you so much for coming along on this imperfect journey with me. I really appreciate you. xo

Let’s go back to cravings a little bit, particularly with how it relates to this challenge or a health and wellness goal you might have. I fundamentally believe that food is supposed to be fun and joyful and delicious. We need it to survive and therefore our brains are designed to help us seek out that which is most pleasurable and rewarding about it. All that is well and good, but I also think that our society has created so many foods that are distorted variations of the real thing that it can be confusing to sort through what our bodies actually need to thrive.

Enter into that a whole lot of social conditioning and rituals or traditions and it can be nearly impossible to navigate a path solely based on health. But personally, I don’t believe that we need to. I really believe there is also room for indulgence purely for the sake of pleasure and a deeply felt sense of contentment that comes with enjoying something fully for no other reason than it is delectable.

Bridging these two ideas can be a challenge sometimes because I feel like my old habits strive to override new ways of feeling deeply contented. What we do consistently is more impactful than what we do once in a while so change takes time. The difficulty with things today is that so much is designed to be easy, and as humans we gravitate towards this naturally, but easy doesn’t necessarily mean better. Then once we are on the path of easy, it becomes a habit. If we want to change that habit because we intellectually believe a different way is better for us, that takes work. And work isn’t easy – so we’re back to some pretty significant signaling from the brain.

I committed to 45 days of this challenge not because I think 45 days is a magic number or because 30 isn’t long enough to begin to see some benefit or because 60 days is insane and obsessive. I picked 45 days because I knew that it would be a challenge in some way and I also knew that I’d need some time to really feel a shift in my perspective. The challenging part has come along but I don’t know that the shift in perspective has arrived yet. Even if I felt that it had, I committed to 45 days and need to see what that’s about, if only because I’m curious. And really, this isn’t hard and that isn’t long.

Yesterday I talked briefly about how I am a grown-up with the ability to make my own choices. I don’t have any significant food sensitivities, an auto-immune disease, or anything that might lead me to be 100% strict with my eating. (Knock on wood…) I’m super healthy from the day-to-day perspective and from the doctor’s reports. Even my weight, although I’d like to see a change, is actually a healthy weight for me. So what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that I decided to do this 45 day challenge in order to discover something on the other side. I’m not to the end yet. Frankly, I don’t even know if I’ll have any earth-shattering change or discovery. Maybe I won’t. But that’s the thing – I’m here to find that out, not to assume that I have already gleaned what there is to learn. So these past few days when I’ve been wondering why I wouldn’t just loosen the reins a little bit, the answer is because I’m not finished yet and I don’t know what that looks like.

I also committed to the time and to you and to me. When we make a commitment to ourselves, we owe it to show up and do the work. Our minds know when we give up – this is, by the way, completely different from choosing to go a different way. A few months ago, I tried a more ketogenic approach and ended up moving away from that. The reason was that I could feel it messing with my head in ways that I didn’t like. It wasn’t making me feel more healthy and aligned with my self and was, instead, making me feel unsettled and unwell. So I chose to move away from it. On the other hand, when we give up on a goal that we really believe in just because it gets hard, then we’re telling ourselves that we’re not worth the effort. When in fact, not only are we worth the effort but we are totally capable of working through challenges and overcoming obstacles. Every single one of us is, without a doubt.

Right now I’m feeling healthy and aligned and the pull is to move back to something that doesn’t feel aligned. It really feels like I’m a toddler in a candy store throwing a tantrum and my mind wants to give me the candy so I’ll be quiet but the body is helping me to let it go because there’s something better out there.

So while I fully recognize my right to have a glass of wine, eat the chocolate, settle in with some cheese, I’m choosing not to and I feel better for it. I feel proud, strong, capable, a sense of accomplishment and ownership of my goals. And even though it’s still a little tough, I feel like I see the top of this particular hill and it really isn’t that far away at all.

I’ve already made my decision and now I’m just letting it play out. Thank you again for being there for me as I process this part of the journey. I appreciate you.

Shine bright. xo

So what did I eat today?

Breakfast – 2 eggs, zucchini, salsa, sauerkraut / Bell pepper with avocado

Lunch – Salad with grilled pork chop, beets, onions, avocado / Sweet potato chunk

Snack – Carrot sticks / Cherries

Dinner – Moroccan lamb and cabbage sauté / Melon

All the cravings were gone today. I feel totally balanced and good to go for the next little bit. I feel like I overate at dinner tonight though because I’m sitting here a couple hours later and still feel full. I was hungry and it was really good so I think I just ate more than I needed. Or maybe it was too much cabbage for my system. Not sure. But it’s interesting how this feeling of fullness is becoming uncomfortable to me. Just twenty days ago it was the feeling I was often seeking.

Staring down the end of the first 30 days feels pretty good.

How did I move today?

I didn’t get a full workout in but an abbreviated MetCon happened this morning. I also did yoga and took the dog for a walk. Feeling good.

I feel like another shift has occurred and I really want to talk about it. But first of all, thanks again for sticking with me through all of this! It’s been 18 days now and it still feels easy. I’m really, really grateful for that.

I’m sitting in my backyard this morning and it’s chilly and gray and just the slightest bit breezy. It feels like fall and I’m loving it. I have a cup of Rooibos tea with collagen and I’m listening to one of my favorite sounds in the world – the wind in the leaves. Love love love it! On top of that, I am planning to go hiking with my son today so I couldn’t be happier.

Yesterday the whole eating craze thing was totally non-existent. I ate my meals, felt totally satisfied, and didn’t even have the urge to snack throughout the day. This tells me, I think, that these past couple days, I was experiencing an increase in progesterone leading to a faster metabolism, more hunger, and bigger cravings. Progesterone rises during the luteal phase of a woman’s cycle so this increased metabolism/hunger/cravings cycle is likely to happen every month. I don’t know what to do with all that. Maybe eat more, maybe increase my carbs, maybe try to work through it…I think it will depend. Rather than dwell on it, though, I’ll just move forward with a little more awareness.

It’s actually raining right now. Seriously, I just can’t tell you how much I am loving sitting out here typing while this lovely weather is happening!

All that being said, the real shift that I have felt occur has been in body confidence. At the beginning of this Whole45, my confidence was a bit low, I didn’t feel attractive, I felt like I kind of wanted to hide away for a while. Now just a couple weeks later, I can feel my confidence and body appreciation rising. But realistically, how much have I changed? Sure, I’ve lost a few pounds and some bloat, but in just two weeks, the change is not THAT significant. Maybe a couple people notice, probably not though. Because in all truth, the difference isn’t that extreme. But I feel much, much better. So what’s the difference?

I think the difference lies in how I am treating myself. Over the last few weeks, I have shifted how I nourish myself entirely over to things that are providing what my body actually needs. There’s no alcohol, no sugar, no junk. It’s all about nutrient-dense foods and it all tastes great! Honestly, I have zero intention of changing my health by taking away the joy of food. That simply isn’t going to happen; I need to love what I eat. I am also exercising consistently, making room for play (tennis, hikes), consciously adding a yoga day that I don’t teach or do at home, meditating, allowing for naps when necessary, paying attention to the ones I love, and being outside as often as possible, which feels joyful to me.

The more we care for ourselves, the more worthy we feel of self-care. This feeling of worth then expands, creating greater energy for life, more to give to those around us, more awareness, more INTENTION. We live more fully and feel more alive and have a greater sense of self-love, which translates back into confidence and self-worth, allowing us to expand yet again. It’s pretty amazing, really.

When I was drinking wine and eating a pack of crackers, it was a self-fulfilling cycle of frustration, sapping the energy right out of me and creating feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Difference – when I’m drinking wine and eating crackers (with amazing cheese) while connecting with friends, that’s living life richly. I’m good with that. (Just not right now…).

Food IS self-care. I’m experiencing that right now and it’s made me look at my body confidence a little differently too. Two weeks ago, uncomfortable in the gym. Yesterday, comfortable in my skin. That’s not to say that I don’t want to make changes in my body, I still have plans for that. The difference is in how I feel and carry myself. But I don’t look any different! So which came first – Body confidence or a better body to feel confident in?

I’m going to have to side with body confidence generated from a place of love and care.

I have a crazy-amazing friend who trains triathletes based on her own experiences as a world leading Ironman triathlete over at Rising Tide Triathlon. (Seriously, if you are looking to do your first Ironman or your 15th and want training that encompasses the whole you, check her out! She’s the best.) A while back, she and I had an email exchange around bodies and she said something that has stuck with me and replayed off and on in the back of my mind.

It was this: “If I am living the way I want to live, like incorporating the things I love and working through the stuff I don’t love in a conscious way, then isn’t the body that comes out of that, the body I should be happy with???”

My heart-felt answer is YES! Absolutely! Our bodies are all different and amazing and remarkable in their own right. If the life we are living is one that we love, then our bodies as a physical representation of that life are, indeed, loveable!

Now that I am feeding my body what it needs and showering it with self-care and love, it IS the body that comes out of that life. I can still want to change it, but I don’t love it any less. It is the same body that it was two weeks ago, but today I appreciate it for working so hard, being so capable, and affording me so much grace for the times I didn’t speak nicely about it. I am, in fact, proud of all it’s done despite how I’ve treated it at times.

I think this is where I got stuck. I knew deep down, and maybe not so deep down, that what I was putting into my body wasn’t really nourishing or nurturing it. I was placing great physical demands on it in terms of intense workouts and great psychological and emotional demands on it in terms of intense, well…, life. However, instead of giving it the food that it needed to navigate all of that, I was giving it wine and crackers. That’s not very fair. So I KNEW that I wasn’t caring for myself in the best way I could and I felt guilty about that, which created a negative spiral.

Have I fixed it for good with a few weeks of meat and veg? Hardly. But I’ve reminded myself that small shifts in self-care can translate into huge gains in terms of happiness, vitality, and renewed confidence. That’s a pretty good start.

What are you doing to care for yourself today? It doesn’t have to be a grandiose gesture, you can absolutely start small. Just show yourself some love today. You totally deserve it.

Shine bright. xo

What did I eat today?

Breakfast – 3 eggs, garlicky chard, 1/4 avocado, sauerkraut, a few chunks of sweet potato

Pre-hike snack – Broccoli salad / Grapes

Lunch – Sausage / Apple / 1/3 c. Roasted sweet potato

Post-hike snack – Nuts and dried fruit

Dinner – Curried chicken / Broccoli / Smoky carrots

How did I move?

A beautiful hike with my son near Westcliffe. Those are some mountains I wouldn’t mind living in. It was beautiful! And I made it home in time for yoga so it was truly a wonderful day.

Last night went as well as could be expected. There was nothing at the concert that I could eat, but I’d had enough of a snack to not worry about it and I drank a ton of water. Because I was focused on the company and the atmosphere, I didn’t even think about it.

But last night we got very little sleep because we were home super late and I had to get up to work in the morning. I am a really good sleeper so when I’m short an hour or two, I really feel it. Five hours is simply not enough for me. And really it’s not good for anyone.  At least seven is better to aim for.

When we are short on sleep, our hormones get disregulated and it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to determine true hunger levels. Because we are tired, the brain keeps signaling for more food, preferably sugary carbs, so that it can feel more alert. We also might feel cranky and irritable or lethargic and like something as simple as making a healthy meal is just too much.

What I have found works best for me when I’m tired is to first of all, make sure that I get enough water. It can help regulate things and keeps me from also being dehydrated and then confusing thirst for hunger on top of any other hormonal miscues. I also try to eat a really good breakfast, including a few extra carbs like I did today with some sweet potato, and then I pay attention to what feels right in terms of physical activity. I ended up working out this morning, although I wasn’t sure that I would. I woke up with a headache, knew I was tired, and had decided to just go with how my body felt. Sleep deprivation is already a stressful state for your body so adding intense exercise on top isn’t always the right solution. It’s important to pay attention.

Missing sleep can cause an increase in the stress hormone, cortisol, and it can cause you to eat more than you need. Both of those scenarios don’t lend themselves to becoming your healthiest self. If you feel like it’s hard to reach your health, wellness, and aesthetic goals, check your sleep. It might be right there in one extra hour. If you can’t get it at night, a nap can help too. Just get some sleep. It can make all the difference in the world!

What did I eat today?

Breakfast – 2 eggs, cucumber, beet, avocado, sweet onion, sherry vinegar, olive oil / chunk of sweet potato

Post-workout snack – 1/2 Rx bar / Apple

Lunch – Chicken, celery, bell pepper, avocado, raisins, onion, walnuts, mustard, vinegar, mayo, lavender salt

Snack – Apricot

Dinner – Chipotle salad with steak and guacamole / Plum

What did I do for exercise?

HIIT workout at the gym and walked the dog. Starting to find my groove again.

I was so tired this morning when the alarm went off. All I wanted was to roll over and go to back to sleep. Fridays are early – I work at the gym at 5am and I went to bed just a little bit later than usual last night because I was reading and snuggling with my son. Totally worth it, but I feel it when I’m twenty minutes on the other side of my normal bedtime. That being said, it could also be the fact that I’m five days in to this Whole45 and my body is working hard to make the adjustments necessary to switch from using a constant supply of carbohydrates for energy to using fat stores instead. Either way, 4am came especially early today.

On the flip side, once I was up and showered and moving, I can tell that my mood is starting to shift. I’m a naturally cheerful person generally, which I’m really grateful for. Most of the time, my moods are pretty even. However, when I’m eating right and exercising and treating myself well, it always shines through. My best friend in California notices it every time. We don’t see each other often but we talk on the phone regularly, and when I’m in a good place with eating and exercise, she comments on it without fail. I am not sure what it is exactly, but it feels like a sense of lightness and I simply approach life and conversations with that brighter approach. I might not notice it if she didn’t comment on it or if, like today, I weren’t being more vigilant about changes that I’m experiencing in order to share them throughout this journey. So anyway, I feel bubbly, which may or may not be annoying to those around me, and also like I could take a nap at any moment.

On top of that, we are going to a concert tonight and we were invited to be in an executive suite. That usually means there will be food and drinks and things I generally don’t want to eat. The concert also starts nearly at my bedtime (like 8! I know…) so there will be some coffee in my life today. I’m looking forward to the evening and I don’t feel worried about what there will be to eat…yet. Mostly I just need to have a plan.

Since it does start a little later, I will be sure to have something to eat before arriving and I am taking an RxBar for an emergency snack. I think I will also pack some fruit and snap peas and maybe a hard boiled egg in a cooler for the drive home in case I need a snack to keep me awake, which is highly likely. Anyway, I’ll let you know how it all goes tomorrow.

A couple notes on my eating on Day 5. I could not get full today. I didn’t have any plantains or sweet potato or other starchy carb available at breakfast so I added an extra egg. And at lunch, I just kept feeling hungry. So I ate more protein than usual, added an extra piece of fruit, had some extra broccoli, and finally had a small handful of macadamia nuts. I am not sure if it’s the lack of starchy carbs or because it is Day 5 and my body is looking for excess carbs and there aren’t any. I have had this same thing happen in previous Whole30s so I am not too worried about it. I just listened to my body, ate more, stayed within my eating guidelines, and am waiting for the shift to occur. I’m imagining that by sometime next week, I will have switched over to being more fat-adapted rather than cruising for carbs and it will all settle down.

I hope you have an amazing rest of your day! Be sure to let me know in the comments if you have any thoughts, questions or things you want to share.

Shine Bright! xo

What did I eat today?

Breakfast – 3 eggs, cabbage, avocado stuffed bell pepper slices

Post workout snack – the rest of the Perfect bar from the other day

Lunch – Slaw with shredded beef, sweet onion, beets, avocado, peaches, mint and white balsamic vinegar (Strange combo but really tasty. I heated the beef and cabbage together so the slaw was wilted.) / Roasted broccoli / Apricot / About 4 raw macadamia nuts

Dinner – No idea. I will have to report back. I’ll be taking some things to eat with me in the car but I don’t know what to expect.

Update – Concert was great. No food was available that I could eat though so instead…

Snack before leaving (about 3pm) – Spaghetti squash and turkey casserole

Snack in car (about 6pm) – Snap peas

Snack in car (about 11pm) – HB egg and broccoli, a few blueberries

How did I move?

HIIT (high-intensity) workout and yoga. I feel like my energy is coming back for workouts so I’m grateful for that and ready for more.

Last night ended up being a bit of a crazy night at the gym where I work but I was home about an hour earlier than on other nights so I grabbed a snack with my kiddo. Dinner had been light and early so I ate a bunch of cherries. Maybe it was too many, I don’t know. It’s really tough for me to gauge because I love cherries so much but I do have a question. Bing or Rainier? I love them both – I think the Bing are sweeter and more flavorful, but the Rainier are so juicy and fleshy and stunningly gorgeous, just like a sunset. How can I resist? What do you think? Anyway…add that to what I ate yesterday and you’ll have the full picture.

I just finished a great run, which was something I was really needing. I am not a particularly good runner. I don’t think I’m physiologically built for it so I’m not very efficient, never seem to get very fast, and if I run too much, I tend to get injured. I used to try to be a runner and there was a time when I completed four 1/2 marathons, did long runs, tempo days, and paid attention to mileage, but that was a few years ago. One day I realized that I wasn’t ever going to be very fast and I really didn’t care so I left my headphones and watch at home and just ran however felt good and listened to the birds and my thoughts. It was a game-changer for me.

Now I run when I feel like it, how I feel like it. I generally run really short distances, maybe just 2-3 miles, and if I go long it might be 5 miles. I don’t care if I walk in the middle, if I stop to let my dog jump in the river (like 4 different times today because it was super hot out), and I never remember to even look at the time. I just run.

I happen to love the feeling of long run legs. It’s different from leg day legs for me, which I also happen to love. I’m not sore, but they feel heavy, exerted. That’s why I throw in something longer when I feel like it, not because I have to, but because I really just want to. I still nurse a few injuries, like right now I have a hamstring strain that I have to be gentle with, but I came home and rubbed some essential oils on it and now I’m sitting on an ice pack writing this. But I feel amazing from head to toe, so it feels worth it and like it was the right thing for me to do.

The shift to running for love was so important because there was a time when exercise was tied to weight loss or paying for something I did or didn’t eat – some form of punishment on some level. Several years ago, about the time I started lifting weights, a shift occurred. I was already doing high-intensity cardio stuff and also running. Weight training was slower paced but still hard. It was different and I liked it so I made some adjustments to fit it into my schedule. Now I’ve realized that it’s not about what you do to be fit and healthy, it’s just important to do it.

So if I feel like running, then I run. If I feel like lifting, then I lift. That’s not to say that I never follow a consistent program because sometimes I do that too. I recently was working through a strength program for about 6 weeks and  I plan to get back to it in about a week or so because, for me, it creates space to place all the effort in actually doing the workout. I don’t have to consider what I will do or whether or not I will do it, I just get it done and that kind of structure is often relaxing for me.

The thing is, do what you love. That’s what gets us moving and keeps us moving. If walking is your thing, do that. Swimming, biking, lifting, yoga, sweating buckets, whatever, just move for all of the benefits that come from living an active life. Everything is better. Health improves, energy skyrockets, feelings of confidence and self-worth improve, body confidence arrives (even before actual physical changes take place because it’s all mental), libido improves, moods and hormones stabilize – it’s really one of those things that just smoothes out all the edges.

Why don’t we always do it, then? What gets in the way? Well, it isn’t always easy. Schedules get crazy and when we’ve been away for a while it’s hard to get back because it is actually, physically hard. Sometimes we’re sidelined by injury. I’m not saying ignore injury (please don’t), but exertion is good for the body so find what inspires you to move in some way, any way, because your body craves it. And life only gets better because of it.

Shine bright. xo

So what did I eat today?

Breakfast – 2 eggs, zucchini (from the garden!), bell pepper, avocado, kraut, plantain

Post-run Snack – 1/3 of a Perfect Bar and iced green tea with 1 Tbsp. grass-fed collagen

Lunch – Celery salad with chicken, beets, walnuts, avocado, onion, vinaigrette / a chunk of sweet potato

Dinner – Salmon with Italian Salsa over garlicky zoodles / HB egg / cherries

And how did I move today?

A wonderful run by the lake in the morning and yoga tonight. Do what you love.

“Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow.” – Steve Pavina

I came across this quote today and it stopped me. I shared it in yoga. I felt compelled to share it here. But I can’t exactly explain why it resonated so much with me. I’m wondering if I just needed to hear it, or maybe someone else needed to hear it. Or perhaps I’m denying just how relevant it is to me right now because that’s sometimes hard to face.

I tend to be a sporadic blogger and I really don’t mean to be. I think consistency is considerably better. But I also have a really private side to me and putting things out here isn’t always the easiest to do, so I look for ways to share information or recipes or something of value, while not wanting to entirely open up. What if I say something ridiculous? Wrong? Boring? Negative? Sometimes what I want to say is more, deeper, heavier, more truthful, more vulnerable – and then I don’t. It occurred to me, though, that the most impactful thing I can do is share from the heart because there is always more information or knowledge to be found elsewhere. Here, I’m just sharing me and what I’ve experienced or come across. With a couple days of blogging done, I started worrying. Thank you for the comments, private messages, and support I’ve received – you keep me going.

I want to say a thing about carbs. There’s a lot of stuff floating around about low carb, keto, no carb etc. Each person gets to make their own decisions about what works best for their bodies. I found that keto didn’t make me feel my best so I’ve shifted back to a more traditional Paleo way of eating. In the past I’ve generally tended to keep my carbs a bit lower, maybe having a starchy carb at lunch or dinner only. This week, however, I’ve been having plantains or sweet potatoes at meals and or snacks more frequently because I know that my mind will be looking for the carbs as I transition into eating cleaner. What I don’t want is to be fighting my mind over bread or sweets so I’m using this week to test how it feels to take in a few more carbs but from sources that support my health. Depending on how I feel, I may keep the extra carbs or not. I need to see how I feel with my workouts and the regular day to day, as well as cravings and mood swings, which I haven’t had any of so far. According to the Whole30 Timeline, Days 4-5 are moody and angry days. If a little sweet potato helps stabilize those hormones then I’m in!

I’m still not feeling 100% after eating today but I don’t think it qualifies as full-blown carb flu or anything like that. I just feel bloated. Kind of like my gut biome is adjusting to the change and hasn’t fully transitioned yet. It’s still early though. And I took a nap. Just 15 minutes, but it felt so incredibly luxurious to rest a few moments. I will be curious to see if the nap goes away with steady energy throughout the day or if it stays. Naps are so good! And I work at 5am and then again in the evening so it helps keep me feeling fresh. But really, no excuse is necessary. Entire countries take naps and I think we really should too. Sleep is so important and we are often short on it.

Food Scene

Breakfast – 2 eggs with sautéed cabbage, avocado, kraut, plantain

Lunch – Barbacoa salad with tons of veggies and vinegar and oil, a chunk of sweet potato (like 1/3 of a cup), kiwi

Snack – Cherries, couple bites of turkey and spaghetti squash casserole

Dinner – I work at 5:30 so this is a weird day for me. I usually eat more during the day or dinner at 4:45 because I don’t like to eat right before bed. I’ll probably have some spaghetti squash casserole and call it good.

Exercise

I thought I’d add a little bit about my exercise so that I can see how my eating is affecting it or how the exercise is affecting my eating. The last two days were HIIT (high intensity interval training) workouts that definitely kicked my butt.

Today…yoga. Probably a walk with the dog in the evening. It’s 100 degrees right now so my dog doesn’t think we should go out. 😉

Shine bright. xo

Sometimes things come along that are unexpected and if I let my “needs-to-have-a-plan” side get in the way, I forget to live life to the fullest. A girlfriend of mine went camping not too far away and asked if I could come up for the evening (couldn’t stay more because I work in the morning). I said yes and then proceeded to have a bunch of thoughts about how my day was really busy and we wouldn’t have much time and I didn’t want to get home late because I work at 5am, etc. But I silenced those thoughts and just went. It was a really lovely evening and I have been wanting so badly to get into the trees and have a campfire and it just hadn’t happened yet. I am so grateful.

This friend is also one that I typically enjoy drinking wine with. So here I was on Day 2 being faced with an evening around a campfire, which is typically not the healthiest place. But really, isn’t it about the company and the experience? I do know this, but “the experience” has also been tied to cocktails in the past. Habits are funny that way – once they form they can become deeply rooted. But instead, I took a bunch of La Croix bubbly waters, which I love, grabbed a bag of snap peas out of the fridge, made a quick tomato/basil/sweet onion salad and headed out. It was wonderful! Spontaneous, special, easy, and zero cravings or regrets.

I think it’s really important to remember that life is about experiences and connection with those around us. If I had hesitated and let my schedule or normal mid-week patterns dictate what I did, I wouldn’t have had such a gorgeous evening fishing, chatting, and sitting by the fire. I’m so glad that I said Yes!

Before I go, somebody asked me to keep posting about what I eat so I’m definitely going to do that. If you have anything you’d like me to talk about or any questions, please post them in the comments and I’m super happy to tackle anything!

Breakfast – Eggs, zucchini, avocado, 1/2 a plantain, sauerkraut (Bubbies brand is so good and full of live cultures and probiotics!)

Pre-workout snack – HB egg + blackberries

Lunch – Big salad again with some Cuban meatballs, lettuce, tomatoes, bell pepper, avocado, mango, and a creamy garlic dressing. Sometimes I have some strange combinations because I really just open the fridge and decide what might taste good. The addition of mango today was delicious! Plus a chunk of sweet potato.

Snack – 1 last meatball, a couple ounces of chicken, cherries

Dinner – Brat, tomato salad, and a ton of snap peas

I felt pretty hungry today and then would eat and would be almost too full. I think it’s actually the shift in the foods that I’m eating, including exponentially more fiber than I was getting these past few weeks. Sometimes I’ve been a bit uncomfortable, but I’m sure that’ll wear off in a week or so. Maybe even sooner.

So there’s my day. I’ll be back tomorrow. Shine bright! xo

Day 1 of any challenge tends to be an easy one because you have all of the enthusiasm and mental energy behind getting started. I like to use the early days, like yesterday and today, to make sure that I’m prepared for any surprises that might come up as the week goes on.

For example, yesterday I made sure that I had some protein cooked and available, like some barbacoa that I made the other day in the slow cooker, some hard boiled eggs, a few roasted sweet potatoes, and some roasted veggies. I also went to the store and stocked up on snap peas and fruit so that I have something to grab if I need it. I always make sure to have some leafy greens on hand like washed kale or spinach to throw into eggs in the morning as well as some premade slaw. These are the basics for me.

I got a good workout in this morning but I felt so sluggish it was really frustrating. I had to actively use positive self-talk to work through it, reminding myself that it was temporary, that I knew I could finish it, that I would feel better when it was done, etc. Coming off too much wine and sugar makes it really hard to feel great in the gym, plus when I’m carrying more weight, it is actually just harder. I tried not to beat myself up too much; I know that I’ll feel better and more energized in a few weeks. Berating myself for decisions that have already been made is totally useless so I just got on with the job and made sure that I took a few extra breaks to catch my breath and I let that be okay.

Here’s a quick snapshot of what I’ve eaten today: Breakfast – 2 eggs with spinach, 1/2 plantain, 1/4 avocado, sauerkraut; Lunch – Big salad with barbacoa, 1/4 avocado, tons of veggies, a little mayo/lime/chili powder dressing; Snack – Cherries; Dinner will be – Chicken and spinach spaghetti squash casserole.

I haven’t felt hungry at all today. My first thought when I woke up this morning, though, was that 45 days is going to be so long! But one day at a time, right? I’ve got to start somewhere and I know that I will feel much better soon. Anyone else start today?

Remember to stay positive and focus on what you’re adding to your day, rather than what you perceive you are taking away. Perception is key!

Shine bright. XO